What if I could convince you that spiritual growth and personal development hinge on asking better questions? Well, maybe I can’t, but I’m hoping that John Miller’s QBQ – The Question Behind the Question will help guide you to a better place in life.
I’m rereading John’s book this summer along with his other version for parents–Parenting the QBQ Way. All of John’s books champion the important practice of personal accountability. He shows us how to get better answers–by asking better questions.
So here are the 3 simple guidelines John gives us to create a QBQ:
Begin with “What” or “How” (not “Why,” “When,” or “Who”).
Contain an “I” (not “They,” “Them,” “We,” or “You”).
Focus on action.
Here are some examples that will help bring the guidelines to life:
Typical: “Why does this temptation keep defeating me? When will it ever stop?”
QBQ: “What can I do to avoid this temptation next time? How can I get help?”
Typical: “When will my kids start obeying me? Why can’t they behave?”
QBQ: “What can I do to better understand my kids? How can I be a better listener?”
Typical: “Why don’t more people follow my blog or comment on my posts?”
QBQ: “How can I better understand my readers’ needs? How can I be more helpful?”
Typical: “Why do I keep getting overlooked for that job promotion? When am I going to get a break?”
QBQ: “How can I be the best in the job I hold now? What do I need to learn or possess to move into the next job?”
I think you get the point. QBQ is a powerful tool for helping us to live intentionally and to live with personal accountability. It’s time to stop blaming others, circumstances, and even–ourselves. Start focusing on what can be done, what’s within reach, what’s within the immediate sphere of influence.
This in no way takes away from what God is doing in our lives. It’s kinda like the Dorothy-and-the-ruby-slippers effect. What if Dorothy had thought to ask what the ruby slippers could do? If she had asked that question, the Wizard of Oz plot would have been greatly abbreviated–LOL.
I believe that God has equipped us to do more than we think possible. He has placed many of the answers inside us; we just need to focus on asking the right questions.
God Bless! And please get a copy of John Miller’s book, QBQ! The Question Behind the Question.
How about you? Can you share other poor-question examples and then turn them into a QBQ question?