The Pros and Cons of Purity

Recently, my daughter surprised me by asking me to buy her a purity ring. For those who don’t know, it’s a ring that states to the world that she wants to maintain her purity and save herself for her future husband. I realize that just wearing a ring will not protect my girl from temptation or magically alter hormones or stop the advances of certain boys, but it does indicate the beautiful desire pulsating in her heart.


I’m convinced that God has planted this desire in her. My wife and I had never even mentioned the idea. I’m so proud she’s taking this stand. I asked her to name her favorite Bible verse about purity, and here’s what she told me:

Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

2 Timothy 2:22

My son also desires to stay pure and save himself for his future wife. He has also built some great accountability partners–besides me–into his life.

If you have kids living with raging hormones, I encourage you to sit down and talk with them about purity. Point them to the highest standards. I love this quote from Oswald Chambers:

“Never make a principle out of your experience; let God be as original with other people as He is with you.”

We’ve all lived through our own teenage years. Each generation faces similar temptations and challenges. Some of us made it through unscathed and some harbour regrets. Some recovered from failure, and God has graciously forgiven and restored them to a holy life. I’m not writing this to judge anyone. Honestly, we’ve all failed somewhere and fell short of the glory of God–and still do.

But if we want the best for our children we should point them to God’s standard—not our past experiences. Our history and wisdom are not sacred–but God’s commands are. I don’t know about you, but I want my kids to do things better than I did.

Yes, teenagers are transitioning to adulthood, and yes, we all need to learn from our own mistakes. But some mistakes are just too costly, and some mistakes can be avoided.

So, like any major life decision, sit down with them on this one and lay out the pros and cons:


    We honor God by obeying Him, and we experience His blessings.
    You learn to practice self-control, and respect the sacredness of the marriage act.
    The tone is set for your future marriage or relationships.
    You’ve told your future mate that you can be trusted and respected.
    You avoid potential pregnancy and early parenthood.
    No guilt, no shame, no extra baggage in your life.
    No venereal disease.


    Okay, I couldn’t think of any cons. I know, I know–our teens may have a different take. But they should see that not having sex before marriage is not going to kill them. They won’t be emotionally damaged or scarred. There’s no physical harm in staying pure. The relationship won’t deteriorate if they say no. Nothing but good can only come from waiting for marriage and trusting God. He only wants the best for us.

    God bless, and feel free to share any challenges or successes you’ve experienced on this topic.

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    4 Responses to The Pros and Cons of Purity

    1. Don Morse says:

      That is wonderful Scott, my daughter is only 9 but I hope she makes the same decision about her future. The world would be so much better if young men and women would abstain; less std’s, unwanted pregnancies and less government dependents.

    2. susanb says:

      Our older kids have both taken purity vows, and our daughter wears a ring to remind her of this. Staying pure is harder and harder in today’s society. I’m proud of your kids, and I love both of them! I’ve already been talking to Stephanie about discipleship next year. I would love to spend a couple of years investing in her.

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